by Nick Carbó
Nick Carbó on 'The Sex Poem'
No cars and sex, overdone!
The topic for this week’s Read Write Prompt is: the sex poem.
The example directly below is rather mundane in its artistry and can be compared to what is being shown on the internet everyday. Yes, there is nudity, there is love, and there is some touching. But the words do not transcend the act(s) and the reader is left with a handful of crushed petals.
Beautiful Flower
Your petals open like a flower
and I think of you by the hour.
How I long to pull back each bare petal
to reach the pollen inside.
Let me graze against your silk,
breathe your sweetness in like air,
for oxygen is not enough
once one inhales the scent of love.
How does one make an intimate, powerful act/event into a poem that can give the reader the “big O,” or any “O?”
One solution would be to use more metaphors. Simple simile is fine as long as you don’t bring it down to the level of like and ass. But what if you can make that ass tremble like an old steam paddle boat on the Mississippi on a half moon night? More interesting. That ass is not just an ass anymore; it is infused with Southern charm, the sound of water whirling, a steam boat whistle, and the hot air making beads of sweat on your back.
Another tactic would be to use the language or specific terminology of an activity completely unrelated to sex, and apply those words to the act itself. The permutations of this clash of different worlds creates a tension that can be erotic, comic or just plain absurd. No cars and sex, overdone! How about your mortgage application? Instructions on how to use your iPhone? Lots of unique finger movements right there.
In the following poem, I use the language of a grammar text to substitute parts of the body. They may be boring structures of a sentence but you clearly recognize the parts of the body.
Grammarotics
by Nick CarbóThe angle of delight is best
achieved while rubbingthe pluperfect button
in tiny syllabic circleswhile the glottal stop needs
firm accentual strokesfor copulative conjunction
to occur. The placementof the preterite tense
at the entranceof a lubricated sentence
assures the inevitableapostophe. However,
if the apostrophe occursprematurely the result
is then a danglingmodifier, also
commonly known asa pathetic fallacy.
Now why don’t you give the sex poem a try? Make it good. Leave our mouths gaping in a giant O. 
Nick Carbó is the author of four books of poetry, the latest just published this year: Chinese, Japanese, What are These? (Pecan Grove Press). His poems have appeared in Poetry, Ploughshares, Asian American Literary Review and many others.
The first poem shared in this piece was written by Read Write Poem staff to illustrate how not to write a sex poem. The second poem is shared with permission from the author. Contact Nick Carbó before using or reproducing the piece.
Directors’ Note: What we perhaps love most about this post is the fact that Carbó’s photo came in with the image title “nick carbó beef.”
I am most impressed with Mr Carbo’s elegant and
helpful suggestions on writing a sex poem e.g
infusing arses with southern charm by making them wobble like a paddle boat or using a mortgage application form (presumably as a sex aid).I look forward with bated breath to next weeks poems,especially from Barbara and Wanda.
hilarious.
I am incredibly impressed with the physical prowess (pictorially evident) and sheer mastery of the English language by Mr. Carbo. But then again, I managed to publish his first poems, including these deathless lines:
“my prima ballerina
taking my hand
you lead me into the night
to dance a naked dance
under early evening stars.” –Nick at Nineteen
and his most recent book Chinese, Japanese / What5 are these?.
Keep on writing, Nick!
–Palmer (editor of Pecan Grove Press)
I teach on a US military base in a foreign country and our Internet security measures are extraordinary. No FB or social sites, no site with “blog” in it, etc. I thought it would be nice if they would allow me to log into RWP, telling them it is a wonderful, serious poetry site – helpful to me as a teacher. I picked this morning for the computer security IT guy to take a look. So, are you all going to help me explain this to the Provost Marshall?
Actually – all above is true except the last sentence. As he was on his way to my office, I opened RWP, saw Nick and the headline, laughed heartily and closed it down. Don’t think the IT people would see the humor.
Tina Celio replied:
December 5th, 2009 at 1:03 am
Nick Carbo, you are my muse!
Wanda, oh no! Just tell them that Nick Carbó is a super serious poet, one to be taken seriously, and and and and and and and …
Doh! I am of no help. I would just stutter when I got to “and” and then break out laughing.
i love this prompt!
will we all be posting partially nude photos along with our poems? i’d hate to be the only one.
Dana Guthrie Martin replied:
December 4th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Yes. Yes we will.
I am just grateful it is a prompt with neither food nor holidays involved unless, well…. maybe….
Carolee… I’ll post a JulieJS “Beefette” if you do! In fact, I took an especially cool one just the other night… hmmmm.
Are we all doing beefs and beefettes, then? What fun!
I’ll do it if everyone else does. Let it never be said I won’t succumb to peer pressure for the sake of art! ^_^
I think it’s interesting that Nick thinks car/sex metaphors are overdone. But then I wouldn’t have thought of the connection. My choice for trite would have been dance. Gender difference?
barbara_y replied:
December 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
And I didn’t even pose au buff when I was in diapers.
Dana Guthrie Martin replied:
December 4th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I totally have a poem about two people going at it in a car. Now I am embarrassed! *blushes*
Don’t be embarrassed, Dana. Back Seat Booty Bumpin’ is a fact of l-l-life….
this is a gOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOd one…this 71 year old will get it into gear….back seat of a car!!!! yikes…maybe reverse gear.
I have a book of love poems called Ceremonies of the Spirit which includes erotic love poems… but in the spirit of the prompt, wrote a new one and posted it on my blog. I am too old to have a photo of me nude or even in a bikini (when my husband asked why I didn’t wear those little bikinis like the other women on the beach, I told him “Because I look like shit!”) but I have included my photo from my poetry show Sugar’n’spice. Just for kicks!
http://www.wendysmuse.blogspot.com
Dr.Ruth’s 10 point Recipe for a Sex Poem
http://rallentanda.blogspot.com
Does Mr. Carbó have a website or can you perhaps give us a link to some of his poetry? I’m really curious…I like to get an idea of what he considers good erotic poetry. Thanks!
Ah! I found something:
http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/Nick-Carbo
It’s sexy time!
I have never tried a sex poem ! this gonna be a tough assignment fr me ..
Ha….the humanity of it all…when everything else fail, even in desperate times, the irrepressible urge of sex, built into everyone of us will carry us on and give us hope….pink rules…..
I know, Rallentanda expected so much from me – and I thought it was such great fun to write the kind of suggestive, ellusive sex poem Nick Carbo told us so well how to write. But, I found out my grandchildren read my poems on my Blog – and, I can’t write a sex poem, funny, weird, or otherwise.
A great idea, Nick, and I loved it. But, Grandmas don’t write poems they know their clever teen-aged progeny will absolutely undestand and be upset it’s what their Grandma wrote, not understanding the wit.
On the other hand, I have posted a sensual poem, not sexual, sensual, in defense of apples on my blog. http://synecdochicstuff.blogspot.com
terrific prompt! although i am tempted, instead, to write about your sexy picture
Ok, so I’ve written mine, to be posted tomorrow, after I get consent from my husband! Of course, my poem is tempered with the decorum and discretion incumbent upon a woman “of a certain age” (me). I’m also now reading the “Song of Songs”…talk about erotic…Wanda, better keep your grandchildren away from those verses…
What a great prompt! This definitely makes me want to go out and buy some of Carbo’s work (hint to other celebrity poets to unwind a little, too). I might have to write that poem about how, as a farm boy of 6 or 7, I was aroused by a sheep. (That’s true.)
rallentanda replied:
December 8th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I’m never inviting you to my farm!
Dana Guthrie Martin replied:
December 8th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Dave, you need to read the poem “The Sheep Child,” by James Dickey. It’s one of Clare L. Martin’s favorites. It’s creepy, just like your admission of arousal by a sheep is creepy.
Dave Bonta replied:
December 9th, 2009 at 10:00 am
I’ve read it. But the Portuguese poet Eugenio de Andrade has a much more innocent and beautiful poem about his first love, a nanny goat.
Beth replied:
December 10th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Now don’t tell me it was a sheep on the kitchen table…
Well, I did it differently:
http://firmlyrooted.blogspot.com/2009/12/nature-copulates.html
Frankly, I believe Wanda is just shy. If she really wanted to, she’d post here. The kiddos would never think to look for naughtiness on a poetry website.
You know what, Barbara, you’re right. I love writing poetry, and I need to write as I see the world, and not worry if my grandchildren, or students, might get the wrong impression. Pretty silly. So I will be posting on the site when it’s up tomorrow – but not quite what might be expected. A draft – but it’s in the ball park (left field).
I have written a poem, but being a grandmother I am, like Wendy, feeling uncomfortable posting it. I too love writing poems, if I was younger I would have no hesitancy. “Granny” and “sex poems” seems an unconventional pairing. Thank you Wendy and Barbara for focusing on what’s really important here…. my love of writing poems. =D
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