by Carolee Sherwood

Splash some water on my face. Pick me up off the floor. I am in shock over the last Read Write Poll! For the first time since I’ve been doing this dance on this very stage, the answers of my fellow Read Write Poem members have completely surprised me. For over a week, you’ve had a chance to describe your writing network by selecting some very clichéd metaphors equating “network” with “family.” And half of you identified as orphans, stating you work alone. Really? You do?

That was my initial response as I watched the poll results unfold, but I have been breathing into a paper bag for a few days, and I have calmed down. I can think more clearly now.

I remember that writing is considered by many to be a quiet, solitary activity. That is its reputation. I remember how many enjoyable hours I have spent writing alone in silence. I remember how many years that’s how I thought it would always be, and I was content.

After the birth of my third son via emergency C-section, I questioned everything. I cut my really, really long hair off. Completely. I turned myself from couch potato to runner nearly overnight. I returned to the creative endeavors I had neglected.

Among the dramatic changes were new writing habits.

I found a women’s writing group that spent some Monday evenings writing from prompts, sharing previously written pieces and networking. I met my writing buddy and uber-cool real-life pal Jill there, actually. We were both mothers of very young children trying to hold onto our identities as writers. A couple years later, I started blogging. I found Poetry Thursday and, later, Read Write Poem. I began to write collaboratively with fellow blogging poets on a project that would become The Poetry Collaborative.

My writing family role evolved from that of an orphan to that of someone torn between laying claim as one of a dozen cousins crowded in Grandma’s feather bed (being a member of a writing group) and celebrating my luck as one half of a sibling pair (having a tight writing buddy). It feels like a great spot to be. I still enjoy the peace and quiet of writing alone, but I do it as a member of a larger community, and that has become very important to me.

For those of you who say you’re orphans, use the comments section to tell me about your circumstances or your choices or to mind my own damn business. Tell me why, even though you like communities like Read Write Poem, you maintain some distance.

And the rest of you, I don’t recommend we try to convert the writing loners. (There’s nothing wrong with the approach.) Instead, talk about how community and collaboration work for you and how you came to it. If you are fortunate enough to have some experience with mentors (“parents”), I’d love for you to share with us how it has worked for you and what recommendations you have if we decide to put ourselves up for adoption.

Here’s how the Poll Dance works: We post a poll every week. Every other week, I talk a little bit about whatever aspect or aspects of those polls is most striking.

Since you can’t see this particular poll anymore, here are the poll questions and results:

Describe your writing “family” (network)

22 votes (out of 44) for: I’m an orphan. I work alone.

8 votes (out of 44) for: *I have a dozen cousins crowded in Grandma’s featherbed (a group of writer pals).

6 votes (out of 44) for: We are the world (my writing networks are too vast to measure via the family metaphor).

5 votes (out of 44) for: I have a sibling who’s like my best friend (a tight writing buddy).

3 votes (out of 44) for: I have great parents (mentors).