read write prompt #41: bare bones, stripping the work down
This week’s Read Write Prompt is (completely and totally) collaborative! Yay. Now remember, if you don’t want to do it, that’s A-OK. But I really want you to do it, OK?
Here’s how it works:
Part 1. As soon as possible (meaning get on it right know if you can, but no pressure), take a poem of yours (or even a super-quickie poem you throw together in a flash for the purposes of this exercise), then remove most of the important words (e.g., the verbs and nouns and stuff) leaving underscores in their place.
But be sure to leave a few of the important words in as guideposts, if you will. Also, leave in all the nonessential words (prepositions, pronouns, conjunctions and the like) as well as the punctuation and line breaks. Then leave that stripped-down poem in the comments on this post.
(One quick note about step 1. You should feel comfortable sharing whatever stripped-down poem you share here. If you aren’t comfortable with someone taking your structure and modifying it then publishing it on their site, it’s best not to share that poem. In that case, dashing something off quickly that is solely for the purposes of this exercise, then sharing that skeleton, might be your best approach.)
Part 2. For the Get Your Poem On post, pull one of the stripped-down poems from this post’s comments section and use it to create your own poem. Just fill in the blanks and voila! You might want to change things around a little bit to make your piece work, but try to stay as true to the skeleton as possible, because writing within such constraints can prove incredibly useful and lead to some surprising results.
Part 3. This sounds like nonsense, you say? Well, allow me to convince you that it’s not. First, the whole constraints thing I mentioned above is effective. Second, this exercise is kind of like trying on someone else’s clothing. It might fit you differently than your own clothing, and you might like the new fit. Even without the “real” words hanging around in the piece, you still get the sense of someone else’s line breaks, their pacing, their rhythm and even their voice. It’s a pretty neat feeling to be able to step inside someone else’s head like that.
Part 4. I’m not going to leave you without providing an example. That would be mean. So to illustrate, I am sharing a stripped-down poem as an illustration.
This is one I created on the fly, and I didn’t even think too much about the words. Just enough to give some structure to the piece, a little shape, so that when the words were removed I knew someone else would be able to come in and make a poem out of it. Oh, and feel free to use this skeleton, but do also leave your own skeletons and work with the ones other people leave. It’s more fun that way.
~Dana.
* * *
____ to _______
There ___ water, or _____.
_______ anchors ____ ___,
_____ this ____ ___ with _____.
_______, _______ motifs, _____________.
Who knows.
We only know the ___ to water __ _______ ____.
And that ___ ___ _______ _____ ______
when ______ and ________.
What ________. What _____. What ____.
How many ________ _________ can you take?
Loading ...
OK, here’s one:
_______ all the _____ and _______,
_______ ____ obscures the ____.
____ _______ breezes _______
erase the ______ of the ___.
But still the _____ _____ of the ________
awakens ______ ___ and ____.
In the ________ _________ echo,
_________ half-__________ ______.
Ageless ________ in the _______,
_____ and _____ and _____ alone,
connected ______ ___ to _____,
a long-lost _____ is _____ _____.
If you decide to use this as the “bare bones” to create your own poem, wait till after you’ve completed it before you check out the original:
http://throwshiswords.wordpress.com/2007/09/06/senses-old/
here’s mine:
Your fingers ___my ____
between ____ and _____
stop the _____ in the ___
“I ____ to _____”
To _____,
harmony
of ____.
To ____?
was ____
for the ______
wearing a _________
at the _____ of the season.
_________:
You wish not
to ____
but ____.
Another ______
you will end
with ____:
“Thy ______ Love,
_______.”
Feel free to improvise -there is no specification for number of words since the original itself is free form.
The original can be found on my blog under the label waltz…
Duly butchered. The original is on my blog… there’s probably enough of it to find with a search if you really want to!
Once upon a _
There was a _ you _ _ _ .
A _that _ _ _ _ _ _ _
But _ I _ _ _, and _
_ _ _ an _ tale.
Once upon a _,
_ _ _ _ _, and ¬_ _ opened
With _ _ _ _ feeling _
And _ more than _ _ _
_ _ _an _ tale.
Once upon a _,
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ story _
_ _ to _. We _ _ sunshine
In _ _, not __.
A _ but _ tale.
Once upon an _
_ _ new tales in which _ _
_ _ _. And _ , _ _ _
_ _ only _ of the _ _ _
_ _ _ _ into a __ tale.
Once upon a _,
_ _ _ and the _ _ _ _
But _ _ _ breaking of _ story’s _.
Now _ _ _ where _ _ _ _ _ _.
_ _ fragmented _ tale.
Once upon a _
_ _ _ _ of _ story
_ _ - from the _ and _ and _.
Now _ _ _ hopeful _ _ _ _ _
My tale is yet to be told.
here’s mine
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I never _____
of you
as _____ there
in the corner of my life
_____
so close to me
time slowly _____ my days
but I never _____
not in the split seconds of solitude
not in the _____ of _____ insomnia
did I once _____ of you
_____ there
now you’re _____
I never _____
I would _____ someone
who _____ never in _____ _____
until the _____ _____ of _____ life
_____ I ever _____ of
never _____
of you
forgot to leave the link to the original and as Annamari said above, please only read this after you have complete your poem
http://www.justwritingwords.com/2008/06/i-never-thought.html
Here’s one:
The ____ ____ ____ but
nothing _____. Each ____ ____
____ sit above the _____.
No ____ ____ offers _____
______. No ____ ____ just ____ ____.
The ______ happen like a
_____ ____. Everyday, a succession of
____ _____.
The ______ is _____ like
_______ ______. We
don’t seek ____. We don’t _____.
We only _____ the _____ in the _______.
Each _____ _____ through its _____,
obedient to the _____.
Great prompt! Here’s one from something I wrote for a RWP prompt a while back:
I was dealt a ______ ______, and _____ed
to do ______ with the ______:
______ ______, _____ing
at a(n) ______’s approach.
I _____ed a _____’s _____ of _____ ______.
Below ______ I have ______ed
the ______ tooth of a ______,
round and ______, and I ______ it
like _____ ______ in my mind,
that _____ _____ trick of _____
and ______ _______
that never quite _____.
Here’s a skeleton for the closet:
It’s still _ _ _ _ _- still _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
in this _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, still _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
for _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It’s still _ _ _ _ _; I’m not _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _,
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ time, _ _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ _
and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
before _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, she said _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ swam over _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ,
_ _ _ _ sunlight over a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
in _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ paintings -
faint, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , full _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
and through _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ summer _ _ _
_ _ _ _ the first songs _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
I’ll post the original on my blog tomorrow.
[...] *For details, check out Read Write Poem. [...]
Improbable ________
______. I’m walking
the _____:
a __________
and _________ ____. A
spoiled ______________
_______ on
my _____
_____. His ____ _____.
A ______ soppy _____.
He _____
me _____ I
wouldn’t __. ______
then _____ at ______
Dirt _____.
Fallen _____
My ______ wags. __
____ to _____ ___.
______ rank
__________.
A ____ snaps. _______.
________ _____ punches
a _____ _____ _____
replacing _______.
____ ___!
I’ll post the fleshy version tonight. You can search “improbable” to find it should you want to.
[...] this is the fleshy poem I quickly put together so as to strip it for Dana’s RWP prompt this week- think crows on roadkill. No? Okay. Think deciduous tree at the end of autumn [...]
[...] poem was produced in response to readwritepoem’s challenge to write a poem based on the skeleton of someone else’s. I used a skeleton provided by [...]
This might be a little long for the purpose, so feel free to use any part of it that strikes your fancy. The complete version is here (but you may not want to look at it until later).
Nay, ¬__ me by
thou __ __, thou __ __-__ __!
I will not __ __ __ the __ _ with you.
Abandon is the __ of __,
a __ without __, a __ of no __
where the __ __ is __.
Abandon is a __ __ under an __ __.
Burning is the __ of __,
a __ fragrant with the __ __
__ of __ and __
where fire __ __ __ __ a step _.
Miracle is the __ of __,
where __ __ __ from __ __ and __
like __ __ on __ __.
All the lands of ¬¬__ are the __ of __:
the __-__ __ and __ at every door
on every street
in the __ of __ __
like __ in dark __
beside the __ __ and the __ __
under an __ __!
[...] If you want to participate, leave a skeleton of your original poem in the comments section of read write poem for others to fill in, kind of like Mad [...]
Hope this works for someone:
brushing ___ wind, they ____
leaving ______ _____
even whirlwinds _____ compete
___ fast ___ they pass __ ___moment
you can only ___ them ___
their massive ____ can ____ you ___
if ___ you let _____ lead by _____
with ____calm ______, you ___ ___
over _____ which _____ like ______
in ____ ____, tightly ______ them ___
[...] August 19, 2008 This sounds like nonsense, you say? Well, allow me to convince you that it’s not. First, the whole… [...]
Lights of __________
________ at your _________,
they’ve _______________
________ you _________
while you ____________
off the___________,
they’ve ____________
your __________ and
____________ with you
on ____________
until you ___________.
They ___________ you,
help you to ___________
your ____________.
They __________ sheen
of your ________________.
Now you lie on a _____________
and ask yourself if
they _____________ or
_______ you into a __________,
until they ___________
into ________________.
I should add that the above skeleton is a stripped down version of a chop suey poem using slynne’s words, so it’s a double collaboration if someone chooses to work with it.
Here’s a link to her blog:
http://soyouthinkican.wordpress.com
Here’s my skeleton:
_______ _______ me
to _____ down ________ _________
___________ dark _________
__________ casts ________
a _________ city ________, ______
___________, the ________
________ out in
the _______ concrete and ________
_____ ______, electric
and ______ ________
______ _______ _________, fragrant, coursing
through _______ ________
_________, ________, madmen
______ ________ _______ women and
high-heeled _________
________, and businessmen
on a secret __________ _________
________ nighttime _______
this _____ _______
________, raw, _______, blood pulse
________ and ______
and I _______
______ ______ all _______ by
a ________ __________
The original is here (do not read until you’ve written your poem):
http://ravenswingpoetry.com/2008/08/10/subway/
[...] to Darkness This week at Read Write Poem, prompt #41 was “Bare Bones - Stripping the Work Down”. We posted skeletons of our poems - stripped down works with some nouns, verbs, and so forth [...]
These were quick poems (part of my free writing series) I’ve written during National Poetry Month back in April. You can do either Part iii or v (or both!).
Part iii.
Once, I thought _____ was a _____ _____
barking at us on _____ of a(n) _____
_____ _____ because we _____ its _____
(and I _____ how it got _____ _____,
and if it _____ its _____ _____),
but it was really a _____,
its _____ erect with its _____
_____ing to the _____,
_____ing like a _____
_____ for _____ to _____ to it.
Part v.
Be a _____, arch your _____.
Let _____ quickly _____
around your _____ and _____
at the _____ of your _____.
_____ deep, then _____,
letting _____, _____, _____, and _____
mingle like _____ _____ _____
of a _____
before you _____ into _____
like a _____ _____ from the sky
and getting _____ by the _____
(or a _____ _____).
Hope these two mini-poems amuse someone. And as everyone mentioned, please write before you peek!!
http://alotus-poetry.livejournal.com/3920.html
[...] poem was a version of Annamari’s, one she stripped to the bone last week and offered up to Read Write Poemers. Thanks, Annamari. I took a few liberties, and hope you don’t mind. Yours is below, as you [...]
I am not _ with _
The _ don’t _ to _
The _ _ the pleasure
Of _ _ to _
I _ _ the _ on my _
But it has not set me free
I am not _ to _
And __ _ _ _ with me.
(Sorry if I am late)
I will post the original in a few days.