Comments on: napowrimo: chain poem

By: napowrimo: celebrate may and back to our regularly scheduled poll dances at Read Write Poem

Thu, 01 May 2008 03:02:22 +0000

[...] gives you the chance to add a line and count it as one of your poems! Find the one in process here. January talks about National Poetry Month and asks, “what are you [...]

By: Beloved Dreamer-Melanie

Beloved Dreamer-Melanie — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:47:39 +0000

Being old and one half of a dead couple had made her thin and wiry.

By: jan doble

jan doble — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:53:37 +0000

if no-one else wants to contribute, i think the poem looks cool the way it is…even with one line alone at the bottom. maybe you could even include something about the bikini in the title? (just a thought…)

By: jan doble

jan doble — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:35:10 +0000

you really could have left that off…somehow the 2 lines you made out of what i sent was really supposed to be 1 line; and the bikini part was to be the last line in the poem (or in that paragraph). But, when you made 2 lines out of the 1 that i sent, i really liked it MUCH better, and realized that it would have been awkward to use it as just 1 line! so then, i was kind of glad you didn’t use the ‘bikini’ line, and my last note to you was pretty much just a joke, a final comment! now that you’ve put the bikini line as the beginning of a new section of the poem, it really WILL be more complicated! i hope people will continue it…otherwise, you can take it off if you want to:) wow…this is a lot to say…sorry it went on so long:)

By: Read Write Poem

Read Write Poem — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:03:10 +0000

Hey Jan, I wasn’t quite sure it was a line with the parenthesis. I heard it as commentary since you’d donated a line before that.

Will be interesting to see where this might yet go.

Title ideas, anyone?

By: jan doble

jan doble — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:59:16 +0000

Deb,
I guess her bikini fell off!

By: jan doble

jan doble — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:13:34 +0000

(and she’s still running around in her bikini)

By: jan doble

jan doble — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:12:14 +0000

–but only in her dreams; in the day she’s still smoking those harsh cigarettes and my brother is still seething

By: Beloved Dreamer-Melanie

Beloved Dreamer-Melanie — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 06:07:33 +0000

For tomorrow will never come and the dark night will stay.

I would like to add this line.

love-bd

By: Whirling Dervish

Whirling Dervish — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:15:46 +0000

Here’s my line:

Family secrets too late at night are safe in her hands